My mother’s personality is broken. She has Histrionic and Narcissistic personality disorders. She has suffered with this as long as I can remember, maybe as long as she can remember. Because she is so broken my entire family and all of it’s members have been broken in one way or another. I’ve been told that most personality disorders become less pronounced as the person ages but with my mother it has been the opposite. That’s so like her, always having to be special by being a bit different.

This is the tale of just one of the cracks in our family. I think I’ll call it Munchkins and Broken Hearts.

One of my mother’s favorite behaviors is to  get everyone riled up and fighting. Soon after discovering e-mail she found it the perfect medium for making trouble. Finally she could get all her insults and accusations out without someone interrupting her or walking away. One fine day about 13 years ago she had me in an email conversation with my younger sister and was slowly ramping up to assault mode. I had grown weary of the subtle insults and started calling her on them. It probably won’t surprise you to learn that this only flamed the fires.

Little Sis is the baby of the family and has always had the closest relationship with our mother. As the years passed and family tensions grew Little Sis became a defender and assumed the role of Mother’s closest ally. It was in this role that she took a position against me in the email battle. Mother would send me an insult, I’d tell her to stop insulting me, she would deny doing so, I’d quote her words, she would become furious and Little Sis would rush in to tell me what a horrible daughter I am. This scenario repeated itself many times over a two day period before reaching it’s climatic end. I should mention that I am quite stubborn (a family trait from my father’s side) and once I’ve chosen a battle to fight I don’t back down. Sounds like we have a recipe for disaster, doesn’t it?

The final explosion in this battle came from Little Sis. She informed me that I was dead to her and  was never to have any more contact with her or her family. A few days later the mailman brought Recliner Man a letter from Little Sis. It took her two pages to let him know how very sorry she was that he had to be married to such a terrible person. Oh, and if he ever wanted to get rid of me he would be welcomed back with open arms. This is the soap opera that is my mother’s family.

I don’t know if Little Sis ever realized what a powerful blow she had struck upon me. You see, Little Sis had two little Munchkins that I was very close to. Long after my own daughter and I had moved on to Junior Girl Scouts I continued to lead Brownie and Daisy troops just for them. For several years they had lived four doors away from me and spent a lot of time in my home and in my heart. Suddenly they had been taken from me and I was heart broken. To make it worse I knew that I had been taken from them and they would never be told why, they would only think I had abandoned them. Again my heart broke.

At my dad’s funeral I was reunited with the tiniest munchkin for the first time. She didn’t say so but I think she anticipated my arrival as one might anticipate the arrival of a six headed, fire breathing snake. It was so good to see her again and so hard not to smoother her with 13 years of lost love. She has grown into a lovely young woman. I’m not holding my breath but I am hopeful that we may have begun a new relationship and Tiny Munchkin will once again be part of my family.

I’m really not going anywhere with this post. I just have a lot of baggage to put down after returning from the funeral trip. I’ve got lots more stories that may end up here. You’ve been warned.