I'm Chia Wald and this is my blog. Here is where I share my thoughts and my art. Sometimes it is good, sometimes it isn't. That's life... and that's me. 
A while back a friend asked me to participate in an ATC Jam she was part of. I agreed, added to the effort and sent the cards on their way. I thought that was the end of it until an envelope arrived in my mailbox. Jean Pitzer sent me the cards shown above with a request to trade, along with a brand new Jam she was starting.
I sent the Jam back to her explaining that I didn’t have time for any unsolicited Jams. I sent her six cards in return but asked that she not send me more unsolicited trades. I suggested she contact me via email if she wanted to discuss any future trades. I thought I had been polite in my refusal but now I’m not so sure. I’m pretty sure that I offended Jean because I got an email from her offering to return my six card and pointing out that I was the first of 800 people to say that I didn’t want to trade with her. I think I blew it big time. It wasn’t Jean, it was the unplanned demands on my time that I had to curb. Oh well, you can’t win them all.
Now I am wondering a few things. Do you ever send out cards and an offer to trade to people you don’t know? Do you ever get this type of surprise in your mail? How would you handle it if you did? Was I being a stand-offish jerk?
Stumble it!
5 responses so far ↓
1 Shannon // Aug 18, 2008 at 3:41 pm
I don’t think it’s jerky or inappropriate to request that you be contacted prior to being included in any sort of trade or activity. I find it rather presumptuous of anyone to assume that a) you want to trade with them at all, b) that you have the time to trade with them, c) that you won’t mind being thrown right into a trade you haven’t been consulted on, and d) that you want to do this particular sort of trade.
Your time is precious, and it’s too bad that her feelings had to be hurt while you managed your time in the way that’s best for you. But she made assumptions about you and your time and it sounds like you politely corrected those assumptions. If she chose to find that hurtful, well, it’s just that–her choice. Knowing you, I doubt you actually said anything hurtful.
Sounds to me like you handled it better than some. You could have just ignored her. Or said something truly mean. But instead you took the time to write a nice note, to participate in a trade you never agreed to do in the first place, and to make the possibility of future trades available if she would only contact you first. Nothing jerky about that at all.
2 Chris // Aug 18, 2008 at 8:27 pm
I agree completely. She was the rude one by ASSuming you would participate. I think you handled it better thatn I would have.
3 Billie // Aug 19, 2008 at 10:41 am
You were truly gracious in replying to her as you did and sending 6 cards in return! I participated in one jam trade; but as with you am too busy right now to get involved in any more projects. It’s just common courtesy to inquire if you are interested in trading. You know what they say about assuming—–
4 Shelly // Aug 21, 2008 at 5:20 pm
I think you handled it very well.
I lost the link to your blog while switching computers. I was so happy to finally find it tonight.
5 chia // Aug 22, 2008 at 6:24 pm
Hey Shelly! Nice to see you again. I’m glad you found the blog again. I’ve been kind of slow with the posts lately but hope to get back into the groove soon.
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